Now

I did two very strange things when I was a kid.

Number one, I ate dirt. Mommy told me not to.

Number two, I sucked on bullion cubes.

Why?

Now, at that point, we just kind of thought that these were childish weird things that I did.

Now that I realize that most of my childhood was spent consuming cold cereal, ramen noodles, and Campbell's Soup (even when we had $)... I understand what I was doing.

I WAS LOOKING FOR MINERALS!

The body is inherently intelligent. It's looking for healing. It's looking for the resources it needs.

And if it isn't finding them in the food or in the relationships, it goes to other places.

Historically, sweet things (honey, maple syrup) and salty things (salt was mined with lots of impurities), contained all of the trace minerals that the body needs.

The body needs many minerals, even if some of them are in very trace amounts.

For some reason I refuse to eat pork and beef growing up. So I was missing a lot of important elements that the rest of my family was getting.

And my body decided to just go ahead and eat dirt to try and find those minerals.

Plausible?

I figured out my entire problem today.

That is that I have treated every interaction that I've had with friends, clients, lovers, whomever from the standpoint of being in "consensus reality".

As if there's something real about consensus reality or even if there even is a consensus that there is a consensus reality

First of all, the consensus reality that we're sold from media, corporations, the State...that is absolute nonsense. Whatever you're seeing in the news about what is happening in Minnesota or anywhere else is absolute hogwash.

You know you have to dig down to find the truth about what's really going on. And I'm doing more and more research and trying to find real normal people to help me understand certain events and you will be amazed at how many layers of government, NGO's, funded think tanks and other things are in between you and the truth.

It's as if entire layers of an onion are set up to make sure you can't actually approach the truth on your own terms. It's the first layer of the Trivium and if you can't get accurate information, then you can't begin to think about it effectively.

But if I treat you or act with you as if we're in some sort of consensus reality, I've already lost. Because I can try to speak as if I'm accepting the one that's offered by media or government or the state or some religious organization. And even if I do, it's probably not matching your reality 100%.

I was actually ashamed of having a dramatically different reality for a long time. I thought that my reality was somehow weird or strange or different and it shouldn't be accepted. And I lost a lot of friends because of the reality that I live in.

But the problem was that I felt some shame around that and so I wasn't standing in my own reality and able to present it neutrally in a relaxed space without being defensive or angry.

But now, I see that everyone gets to have whatever reality they want and they can explain it and people can accept it or reject it. And there is no epistemological center point or truth that everyone has to admit...that everyone knows, and there's certainly no reason to punish oneself or feel guilt or shame because one doesn't believe in the same reality that everyone else does.

Of course, they can send you to an insane asylum if they want. Or laugh at you. But if you're able to rationally explain and relaxedly receive whatever feedback you get, it really doesn't matter.

You can only be closer or further from the truth that everyone else is.

And to actually know it would require Divine knowledge that none of us have.

It's the reason I stopped going on podcasts. Stopped making videos. Stop making content. Basically, because I was too weird.

One of my coaches gave me a gigantic speech about this precisely 10 years ago.

It only took me 10 years to get the message.

Nonetheless, I'm glad that I'm finally getting it now.

And feeling free to express within and about my reality and ways that I hope will serve others.

My friend sold her house in 2021.

Most people told her to buy stocks with the money until she got a new house.

All of her foolish friends told her to buy Bitcoin which at that point was at 64,000.

I told her to buy gold and silver.

Here's the funny thing.

An honest currency already existed and it's very easy to create them. It's just illegal to do so and you'll get thrown in prison if you try.

E-gold existed for a long time and was moving billions. Until the US govt came in and shut it down. Can't have real money competing with fake monopoly money.

With it, you would pay in weight of gold instead of dollars or euros or even Bitcoin.

It was about to upset the entire financial establishment.

So the US government, to protect you just shut it down.

The truth is that gold isn't rising. Silver isn't skyrocketing. The worthlessness of dollars is just being revealed.

And I'll give you one more secret.

Eventually $100,000 US dollars will not be worth one single gram of gold.

Why? Because that's what happens to all Fiat currencies. Eventually

They've printed it and handed it out to all their friends.

High-end assets shoot through the roof in nominal dollar price is when that happens.

Dollars aren't worth anything.

She was dying.

I told her what to do and how to do it from the very beginning.

It was incredibly painful. It was incredibly difficult. It was no fun.

And while she did some of it, as soon as she got well enough to get along okay, she immediately went back to her own mind.

"I've got it now!" she seemed to call to me.

And then she started studying and learning and then she would come up with something that she would do for a few weeks. And then it wouldn't work and then she would do something else.

And then she would learn some more. Read another book.

Try something else for a couple weeks. Talk about how amazing it was for the first day or two.

Tell me about how it stopped working after a couple weeks. And then switch to something else.

"Ever learning, yet never coming to the knowledge of the truth," as they say in the Bible.

And she got worse and worse and worse and worse.

I said, "Are you tracking, at least?"

She was not. Therefore, if it was working, she wouldn't know.

And, if she 'felt bad' she just stopped. Giving nothing long enough time to work, if it were going to.

An endless circle.

When she started tracking, she could see that things weren't improving. But still, she hesitated to track the most important things for her to track because they were so triggering that she just avoided it.

And, I kept telling her how to fix it. But, eventually I just gave up. Realizing that people are allowed to choose death if they want.

After all, all deaths are suicides....

Her health declined further and further. Until now, she can barely get out of bed.

It's hard to watch someone you love get worse and worse, especially when you know you have the key to help.

Finally, I let go completely. Watching her destroy herself more and more while I watched. Not making that mean anything about me.

Not making that mean anything about her.

Just loving her.

As I said yesterday, if you think my advice is harsh just wait till God shows up...

And sure enough, he did.

And she's faced with the real question: do I want to become bedridden? Or die?

So, I sent her something from a sexual healer about all of the issues that happened when you deal with the core of human energy.

And since then she's been crying almost constantly.

We tease each other that I'm happy when she cries. Why? Because she's moving energy...

Instead of wasting time scrolling or listening to the same audiobook yet again or watching a TV series that she has watched a hundred times ... Or playing some silly phone game.

Not that that is bad, but she spent months just doing those things, and working.

I said do you see me more clearly than you I see myself?

She said, "Absolutely."

I said, "Then, do you believe I see you then more clearly than you see yourself?"

Hmmm

The cave you fear to enter, literally in this case, holds the treasure you seek...

So she has been digging a little bit deeper with AI every day. Sharing things she has never told me. Or perhaps anyone.

Crying a lot. Sometimes screaming to release the energy that gets stuck in her head.

But now, she finally has started telling me things that she has been holding inside for 6 years.

She said she was shocked I didn't scream or shout or attack her or run away when she did.

The old programming is strong.

So much fear about being authentic, transparent, and vulnerable.

And she's considering this program that is supposed to crack everything open.

And frankly, I'm just happy that there is movement at this point.

I wondered why I was brought together with her. How we met. What happened after.

But I'm getting a front row seat into some of the most traumatic healing that is possible.

But the point is, as long as she stayed in her head. As long as she just kept getting smarter and smarter.

As long as she wasn't listening to anyone who was actually in front of her. Who knew what she didn't, who saw her more clearly than she did, and had her best interest in mind, she just got worse and worse.

And I've seen this happen over and over.

She woke up early this morning, sobbing.

We've been together for six years, and now she is diving into the deepest, most challenging healing that I saw coming from the very beginning.

And her blanket ripped.

And she can't make a new one.

So now it's my turn to learn to sew. She wants me to become a seamster.

What chance is it that two women tell you in the space of 18 months that you should learn to sew?

When I was deep in my polyamorous phase, when I got the same feedback from two, or God forbid, three women...it became increasingly difficult to not take it seriously.

In a partnership, your partner says something, you can just write it off. I'm not saying it's wise to do so, but it's easy to do that.

But when you get mirroring from two or three people+ about the same thing, it becomes very difficult to ignore.

I don't remember the feedback from back then, but I know that it hurt. (And not getting rejected while getting feedback was a completely new experience for me. Because criticism of any kind felt like rejection, originally.)

Not that this is criticism. It's more like a message from Beyond.

What I have learned and what I can advise men to do definitely: to listen for whatever you are told needs to change and change it. (!)

A lot of men say, "I chose her so she would support me! Not criticize me!"

Yeah, it's not fun. I get it.

But, I answer: "Whom would you rather have criticizing you? Her? Or the results you get out in the world?"

Whenever someone tells me that my criticism is harsh, I say, "Wait till you see how God does it."

Because whatever I can say is always gentle compared to when life comes to teach the lesson, no matter how it comes.

This is the same thing.

And sometimes you have to do some digging to figure out what was meant in the first place. That's the bonus round.

Pray for us.

I was standing naked in a room full of strangers.

Actually, I wasn't naked yet.

That would come later.

But I felt like I was naked.

Everyone was looking at me.

Judging me. It seemed.

And then they told me everything they found... wrong with me.

I've done it a few times now.

I've learned to hold opinions lightly.

But I also learned... to overcome some of the criticism and self-criticism I feel inside.

Because I didn't think I was good enough to be able to do what I do or say what I need to say.

And it's interesting because I've been digging into my body the last few days, feeling a specific place where the energy is stuck.

Attention and focus there...pushing very hard.

Feels like glass and knives and moving energy that has been stuck for a very long time.

It has been quite healing and I believe it's giving me courage to finally say the things that I need to say...to the people I need to say them to.

Which no one can define and stop you from doing.

You get to just say whatever you want to whomever wants to listen. And that's how it works.

Just watched a documentary called "Class Action Park"

It was about how all of us lived In the 80s.

Get on our bikes n the summer and disappear all day.

Come back bleeding and broken, or have our bikes stolen.

And that was just par for the course. It's crazy that raising children would change so much in just a couple decades.

Although maybe we can understand why.

So what makes something that was crazy just a few decades ago completely normal now?

How far back can we look with clarity? Do we understand the mentality back then?